This has been a crazy-insane work week. I’m not complaining, but it really has cut down on fiction time and I HATE that.
Sometimes, as we all know too well, it’s not the work that interferes but the muse. She has this annoying habit of sticking her nose in when you’re most involved in other things, then taking off for parts unknown when you need her most. Here is a conversation I had with my muse. It’s a love/hate thing we have going on. Heh. Yeah, her name is Al. Don’t ask.
Rotten bitch.
Say what?
You heard me. I didn’t stutter. Where the hell have you been?
Hey, I have a life. You think you’re the only one in this relationship? You don’t tell me where and when to go.
I have needs! Needs that you don’t seem to care about!
So what? I have needs too, and you’ve been totally ignorant of that fact.
Like what? You never say anything, how am I supposed to know what your needs are if you never say anything? You’re so frustrating.
Like, you never feed me anything but junk, and then complain because I’m out of shape. You don’t take me anywhere, we don’t do anything – I get no exercise. You expect me to do all the work then sit around and whine because you don’t think I’m living up to my end of the bargain. I’m sick of it.
That doesn’t tell me where the hell you’ve been. You’ve been gone for *weeks*, not even a phone call , an email, or even a damned postcard. People are starting to talk.
I couldn’t care less what other people say. You used to think that was part of my charm.
Again, you sidestep the issue! Where have you been?? Please tell me you haven’t been…
I don’t answer to you or anyone else. Where I’ve been is none of your business – I came back, didn’t I?
Yeah, but for how long? And for what? To bitch at me for my shortcomings, most of which I know only too well? What kind of help is that?
There you go again, whining, always whining.
Roll your eyes at me one more time….
And what? You need me. Aww, don’t cry. Come here, let me dry those tears. Maybe we can work something out.
I’ve missed you.
Well, I’ve missed you too. That’s why I’ve come back. No one executes my suggestions like you do. Now, come here and sit on my lap and let me whisper in your ear….
25 Comments to “You Can Call Me Al – Friday Flash Fiction”
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Laughing! Did Paul Simon name her?
Someone told me that if you place a small yellow bowl filled with thyme near your workspace, the muse comes calling. What the hell, we should try everything.
Loved this!
I have needs! My favorite line and my wife goes running – as if I only have one thing on my mind (ah, I do) – ha – this is so relationship true! Funny.
Michael J. Solender´s last blog ..The Sum of His Deeds #FridayFlash
((((Snort))))
I needed this ha-ha – my week’s been hell, too. Hugs to you and a great flash. Spot on. Peace, Linda
Linda´s last blog ..when i refuse the lithium – #fridayflash
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Laura Eno and Marisa Birns. Marisa Birns said: RT @netta50 netta50 A conversation with my muse, -You Can Call Me Al – http://bit.ly/tINQi #fridayflash ~ Have Al on speed dial! [...]
And then the cycle starts over again! Al…I like the name.
Laura Eno´s last blog ..We All Travel – #FridayFlash
“Roll your eyes at me one more time…”
I have never heard of someone talking to their muse before! I didn’t even know it was possible! Nor did I know it was possible for anyone to have you so completely in check…;)
This was poignant and funny as hell! Be nice to your muse; s/he’s obviously good to you when s/he sees fit
Avery K. Tingle´s last blog ..Comment on My First Machinima Blog by Tweets that mention Life As I Play It » My First Machinima Blog — Topsy.com
Hilarious. Oh how I enjoyed this one. Thanks.
Laurita´s last blog ..Friday Flash – Extinguished
Very cute! I want to know where Al goes when she’s absent (i want to go hunt down my muse there!)
PJ (doublelattemama)´s last blog ..“The Escape”
I suspect Al goes off to “inspire” other writers… seems rather fickle!
Nicely done/ Thanks for the laugh!
OMG. Your muse and my muse must be sitting in a bar together somewhere laughing…lol. I feel ya!
Shannon Esposito´s last blog ..Friday Flash: A Bottle of Spirits
Teehee, it’s a passionate love affair, right? I love your writing voice – literally. ;p I do have muse nemesis named Ol’ Joe. He an resides here in Texas and has a pointy pitchfork. If Al seems him around be sure to run the opposite way!
Thanks for the great read, Netta.
Jodi MacArthur´s last blog ..#Fridayflash ~ Rabid
Great dialogue play Netta
I don’t have a muse. Maybe I could borrow yours? Just jokes Joyce!
Cascade Lily´s last blog ..#fridayflash: A Reservoir Dog
Clever. My muse took off too. Is there a temp agency we can call?
Chris Chartrand´s last blog ..I Was A Teenage Romeo
You guys are great. You’re cracking me up.
Yes, the title was inspired by Paul Simon from one of my favorite albums evah. There’s a story behind that, of course
I’m so relieved to know I’m not the only one that wrestles with this wench. And Avery, trust me on this, she is the ONLY one that ever has me even CLOSE to “in check”. Bite me
I really appreciate y’all stopping by and reading. It really makes my whole week. <3
You can call me Allllll, call me Al.
I’m singing it and watching the video with Chevy and Paul in my head… Loved the title. Enjoyed the kvetching…very fun.
Never heard of leaving the bowl with thyme out…but I know a good walk in the park will bring my muse out…she’s such a naturediva.
Karen :0)
Oh, so it’s my muse I’m always arguing with. I have these conversations constantly; thought maybe it was a mild form of schizophrenia. I wonder if the muses hang out together and trash talk us.
Your muse creeps me out a bit, but then again so does mine
Nice piece. I like the subtle differences in speech of the writer and muse.
Hang on a minute….. I recognise this dialogue!
lol, haven’t we all been there.
Interestingly, in your piece it’s the Muse that has the upper hand in the relationship… tha’s very true to life, for me!
mazzz_in_Leeds´s last blog ..#FridayFlash: Puma and Jaguar Save the Planet
Oh, it’s my muse! I thought it was just another of the voices in my head….
I don’t think the muse ever leaves. Ever. Just hides. Which, actually, is worse, because you know Al is nearby, just giving you the cold shoulder. What a prissy little bitch, that Al. Nicely done conversation. Thanks for sharing.
Jeff Posey
Jeff Posey´s last blog ..The Chase Begins
Loved the dialogue, and was just as amused by the comments you inspired. A temp agency for muses – the perfect snake oil/carny scam business! I’m going to write up a business plan after lunch.
trev´s last blog ..Small Comforts. #fridayflash
Sounds like a very…um…active relationship you have going there. Great dialogue. Well done.
My own relationship with a muse turned up in a #fridayflash a while ago here
KjM´s last blog ..Evening on the Lake
Very nice story. So much truth in it…
Eric J. Krause´s last blog ..#fridayflash–The Chosen One
Fun and funny, but oh so true. When my muse leaves me I go out and hunt her down, with hounds. That usually works. And so far she hasn’t asked for a restraining order.
~jon
J. M. Strother´s last blog ..UserPagemathsinger
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