Comments on: A Dichotomy of Hearts – Flash Fiction Friday

By: Gary Harmon

Gary Harmon — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 06:42:53 +0000

“…It’s rather like holding a tiny sparrow in his hands…”

I thought this was as apt a description as anything I’ve read in a long time. Really good piece. I feel sad for them now, which I guess means you’ve done your job.

Wow, that was a weird compliment, wasn’t it? It’s like I’m calling you a sadness-monger.
Gary Harmon´s last blog ..500 HITS!

By: netta

netta — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:58:21 +0000

Thanks, everyone! I’m so happy that this little story seemed to touch a chord. I’m always people watching and wondering what goes on behind the scenes, so-to-speak. Everyone has a story. Everyone.

I really appreciate all the kind comments, helpful insights, and the kudos. I’m very grateful.

Thanks again!

By: Anthony

Anthony — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:54:59 +0000

Just goes to prove you don’t always need a shocker, big twist ending to make a story unique and different. Great job!
Anthony´s last blog ..Latest Innovation

By: J. M. Strother

J. M. Strother — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 18:30:43 +0000

There are a lot of broken people out there in need of a little glue. You captured two of them perfectly here. Quite moving. Sad, yet hopeful. A dichotomy, of sorts.
~jon
J. M. Strother´s last blog ..UserPagemathsinger

By: Al Bruno III

Al Bruno III — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 16:04:08 +0000

Just had to pop in and let you know that I thought this was a very nice bit of work you have here. Evocative and emotional and it leaves you wanting to know what happens next (like every good story should).

By: dan powell

dan powell — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 09:37:09 +0000

Loved the ideas here and how at the end, the reader is shown to be another patron, watching the couple from across the room. There is a real tenderness about these characters, especially in their anonymity. Also, you handle the difficult task of switching pov from her to him and back again very well. I am not sure you need the opening paragraphs, prior to the scene in the club. Anything necessary could have been worked into the main scene, and shifting your opening straight to the bar would get things moving quickly.
An tender and enjoyable read though. Great stuff.
dan powell´s last blog ..Heading Home – #fridayflash

By: Eric J. Krause

Eric J. Krause — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 06:04:48 +0000

Excellent story. The shift in tense bumped it up a notch. It was a strong story without the 2nd person at the front and back, but those, in my opinion, made this piece even better.
Eric J. Krause´s last blog ..#fridayflash–One Rainy Day

By: KjM

KjM — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 22:48:02 +0000

I love the shifts in perspective – I can see it, as through a camera, close-up, middle distance, telephoto. And all the opportunity for misstep/misinterpretation that goes with that.

You gave just enough to allow the reader paint the complete picture.

Elegantly done.
KjM´s last blog ..The End of All Things

By: Shannon Esposito

Shannon Esposito — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:08:31 +0000

Oh, the tiny sparrow imagery was so poignant and perfect! This is a great piece, a whole lifetime of conversation with barely any words. Loved the switch of POV, getting in both their heads. Definitely a winner!
Shannon Esposito´s last blog ..Friday Flash: Solar Storm of 1989

By: Rosa Say

Rosa Say — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 06:27:53 +0000

You had me rooting for them both, but mostly for him: I admired his bravery and tenacity with her. The way you switched between them and then wrapped up at the end flowed really well. It seemed right that we moved away with you, giving them their privacy at the end and not daring to assume too much.
Rosa Say´s last blog ..The Truth Will Set You Free #FridayFlash