How Killing A Chicken For Voodoo Will Improve Your Writing

Before you try killing a chicken at home, because it really is a messy proposition, maybe you should try a few other things instead to polish up your writing.

I know you’ve heard it a million times, but for the love of all that’s good and holy, get yourself a copy of Strunk and White’s Elements of Style. However, just possessing a copy doesn’t mean squat. Sure, it looks good on your bookshelf when friends and family come to visit, imparting a certain validation of you as a writer, but if you don’t take it off the shelf and actually read it, implementing the valuable advice that is contained within, it is nothing more than window dressing. And, what’s it doing on your bookshelf, anyway? It should be on your desk, within easy reach.

Not every writer follows every rule. As a matter of fact, I would venture to say that there isn’t a writer who does. Still, you need to know the rules in order to break them, so familiarize yourself with the basics. Please. The most common complaint I hear from other editors is failure of the writer to follow even the most fundamental grammar rules, and from what I’ve seen, I concur.

Look, the point of writing is to convey your ideas or message via the written word. There are principles that must be followed, so your reader can understand clearly what it is you are trying to say. Bend the rules if you can; break them if you must, but know what you’re doing, otherwise your message gets lost in the tangle of dangling participles, warring tenses, and garbled clauses.

I see you’re grabbing for the knife to sacrifice the chicken. Hold up, bub. There’s more, and it might be easier than cleaning up chicken blood from the carpet.

Are you practicing? You might be a copy writer (meaning, web copy, sales copy, etc.) or you might be a fiction writer working on your next novel or short story. That’s your work – what are you practicing on? Take time out to cruise the interwebz for exercises to do when you just can’t write one more word for your chapter, blog, or article. Something fun. Take a blank page and write for ten minutes (set a timer) on the flotsam and jetsam that are rattling around in your brain. It clears the pipes, so-to-speak, and you may even get a few ideas or some useful material out of it. Step outside the genre in which you’re immersed on a daily basis, and take a break. If you write fiction, try a non-fiction article on a subject that appeals to you. Maybe you love Chihuahuas – write an article on their history or how they were bred. Not only will you learn something, but it stretches your writing muscles.

If you’re a non-fiction writer, loosen up! Write a fictional story of how a girl and boy met on a train, or what happened when a woman met a pixie on her way to work. Shake it up! The truth of the matter is, if you use only one side of your brain, it gets bigger than the other side and not only does your head look weird, you’re not utilizing all of your skills. You’re leaving half of your assets hidden away, and it will show in your writing.

Another way to improve your writing is to get out there and live life. Writing can be a lonely profession. After all, where the bullet hits the bone it’s just you and the blank page. Although having the internet accessible with writer’s groups and social networking helps, there’s nothing like being out in the wide world and actually experiencing the life around you. You can’t write about the human experience, whether it’s fiction or non-fiction, without living, feeling, and participating in this merry-go-round we’re all on. Get out there! Do something! Don’t just sit in your chair in front of the screen and pump out words. They have to come from somewhere, and that “where” is outside your front door.

One more word before you get out the knife and pins for the sacrifice – what’s the last book you’ve read? I thought so. I know it’s hard making a living, okay? Every minute is precious, and time is money. Think of reading as an investment in your personal writing bank. Pick up books based upon other’s recommendations; Good Reads is great for that. Choose a book you may remember reading in high school and give it another chance. Read authors you admire, and read authors you’ve never heard of. Dive into the Greatness that is Indie Publishing, or find a good online serial being written. There are plenty of fabulously talented people both on and off the bestseller list.

Lay down a strong foundation; switch out the curtains and the paint colors; bring new experiences to the table; familiarize yourself with other viewpoints. This is the best advice I have for improving your work. And write! The more you do, the better you get, and that, my friends, is an immutable Law of the Universe.

If you do all that and still see no improvement, it’s time for the chicken. I suggest you check with your local laws and regulations, although if you get arrested, you can chalk that up to a life experience. Of course I don’t speak from personal knowledge – what gives you that idea?

What are you hanging around here for? You either have a chicken to kill or exercises to do. Get with it. Come on back and let me know how you’re doing, and what time I should be there for dinner.

Note: No chicken was harmed in the writing of this post. Honest.